“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 KJV
When I started my spiritual journey, I had no idea of where it would lead me, but I was trusting God all of the way. I did not start to gain full understanding until I came into total submission to Him and studying His word daily. Spending quality time with God began to transform my life. He allowed me to see and hear things with a spiritual mindset. He also taught me when and how to pray. This journey was turning out to be more than I could have ever imagined. It was a journey of self-discovery. I felt like God was giving me a brand-new shot at life. He was giving me a chance to live and walk with Him. He was teaching me how to be a better person—all the way around—not just as wife but as a Christian.
On this journey He began to heal me of the hurt and trauma from my past. I had to face somethings that I had buried, and I had to forgive myself for things that I had no control of. And in doing so, I was no longer bound…. I was finally free! I always wondered what my purpose in life was because I knew there had to be a reason for all of the pain that I had endured. I prayed and asked God to reveal to me what His will was for my life and in His timing; He did just that. In that moment, I sat there with tears in my eyes and a heart full of gratitude because I finally got it. I understood the reason he took me through this process and why He had me journaling all of those different things along the way.
As I mentioned, in an earlier blog post, I knew that God wanted me to share everything that I had written, I just did not know (at that time) how He would want me to do so. While in fellowship with Him one day, He gave me my instructions. Instantly, nerves and doubt kicked in, but I knew I had to be obedient. I talked it over with my husband and we agreed on things that we were comfortable with sharing. I prayed about it and asked God, what if no one wants to hear our story or our testimony and He told me, “Just Trust Me and I’ll supply the increase.” I knew He would not let me fail, because this was much bigger than my husband and I. Everything that I do/write, is only through the strength of God. To be vulnerable, transparent and share personal and traumatic experiences with the world, wasn’t/is not easy……however, if my pain can help someone else heal then it is worth the sacrifice. And I will keep writing, whether it reaches 1 or 100, because God gets all of the glory in this!
I am not ashamed of anything that I have gone through. I am in a completely different place than I was back then. There is purpose now and profound understanding. No one is going to go through life without experiencing pain. Do not let the pain of your past keep you from moving forward. Find the courage to embrace it and use it as a catalyst to help others. God is able to turn tragedy into triumph, storms into salvation, and bitterness into blessings. God can take what the devil meant for bad and use it for our good!
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